oops… i blinked

right now it’s 2145 hours; the date 14/11/14. I just woke up from the nap I took after coming back from my last tutorial of the day. I woke up wondering why my entire floor was so quiet and why hall was so empty, and then it hit me: it’s a Friday night and I came back from my last tutorial of the day…

…and the semester. oh my god, I’m done with the lectures and tutorials for the semester. oh. my. god.

the title of this post is the reaction I’ve had to this entire semester in general. I wish I could be one of those who say “thank god the semester is over! I’ve survived the first semester of university!”, and I have, but I feel no sense of accomplishment whatsoever. simply because I haven’t done anything remotely close to studying or working hard this entire semester. (apart from the two papers I had to submit which were in entirety half-assed efforts on my part)

perhaps it’s because I’ve been lulled into this false sense of security afforded by the privilege that’s been bestowed upon all freshmen of academic year 14/15: the grade-less first semester.

it’s a well-known fact in my faculty that, while it is rather hard to do superbly well and score As for everything, it is also rather difficult to fail anything even without having put in much effort. it’s easy to take a mediocre grade for any of the modules taken and apply the option of saying that “oh, my grade is satisfactory” and just receiving the credit for the module while not having to worry about the grade affecting my CAP/GPA/whatever they call it wherever you’re reading this. also, I feel like I’ve been having things too easy— all I’ve been getting back for the entire semester were a steady stream of B+ grades for my tests/papers and there’s a lack of incentive for me to do something.

I wish I had an incentive to actually get studying. I need my motivation back because everything seems rather nebulous (haha I just learnt this word today) right now.
I know I should be worried about my grades, but…


oh, and finals are coming

One Comment Add yours

  1. Jeremy says:

    I just learnt a new word too googling it.

    Try thinking of motivation as something you need to generate instead of finding. It might help. 🙂

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